26/11/22
I think it is safe to say that chemo keeps you on your toes, it is individual, cumulative, and seemingly random! I did not want to become an expert on this but ‘managing’ is thrust upon you, learn quick or fold.
The whacking dose of steroids given with Doxitaxel has the effect of leaving you feeling slightly bullet proof for the first few days, a bit invincible. The unfortunate outcome of this is you do ‘everything’ with gusto and then pay for it a few days later when the insomnia takes it’s toll and the steroid dose tails off. Yes, I did this, exercising, working, doing stuff around the house and garden before crashing and burning. The muscle and joint aches that normally come with this drug were slightly more profound with me.
This was not the only time I suffered from somewhat self inflicted side effects this time though. On a rare sunny November morning I dared to briefly bask in the gentle warmth of the weak Winter sun, for all of two minutes. I closed my eyes and drank in the sunshine believing I was doing myself good. I had been warned about sunlight and chemo but had no idea how extreme the effects could be. A couple of days later my eyelids became sore, itchy and tender, I blamed the drugs, it was only when what looked like bruising appeared that I twigged…..sunburn. Not a good look for a Goth and bloody sore. I could at least now treat it, moisturiser and aloe vera soothing my burns.
Not self inflicted, but an irritation, the place where my dressing adhered to my arm came up in a raw, red and itchy welt. I was always sensitive to plasters but micropore was always my friend, not any more, the drug has made me sensitive to this too. I hope this effect is temporary.
I don’t want to appear whiny but I do need to tell it like it is. All of these are minor in the scheme of things, however in concert, leave you feeling pretty battered. In addition to the overdoing it, the sunburn, the bruising from the cannulas and the welt, I have had sinus pain, abdominal cramps, odd taste, fatigue, constipation, sore throat, cough and some mouth soreness/ulcers.
This has resulted in a few low moments, but I refuse to give in to this. All things shall pass and I maintain that taking it in my stride is the correct way to deal with this. Other folks have a much worse time of it than me, I’ve read their posts!
Dave has been ever patient and deeply sympathetic, I must reiterate how tough it has been on him. Watching your partner being made repeatedly ill in an attempt to cure them is stressful and wearing. I know from watching other friends go through this with their partners that it does take it’s toll, there is a PTSD like effect in some that takes time to recover.
I have two more doses, the end is in sight, it cannot come soon enough. I am having to place it on trust that this is efficacious in the long run. The article link below is about another woman with the same doubts as me ‘treatments such as chemotherapy help only a statistically small number of patients, five out of 100 women in the case of breast cancer. Eighty of the 100 women would live for 10 years without it. But all 100 women have it to ensure they might be helped by it.’
I am sure with the right innovation we can do better than this.
https://www.newsletter.co.uk/arts-and-culture/film-and-tv/making-sense-of-cancer-with-prof-hannah-fry-3716724
It isn't whiny at all Elsie, write what you need to write. Wishing you and your partner in crime the best :)