30/12/22
(Edited 1/1/23)
The last dose of chemo was delightfully undramatic, the lovely staff nurse went straight for my ‘drain pipe’ vein, popped the cold cap on, 2 hours later all done. I opted to ‘ring the bell’, you get a round of applause from the staff and patients and a sense of relief. I told the staff that I did not want to see them again unless it was in the pub! We are celebrating this milestone to a degree but the journey is not over quite yet, there is the small matter of radiotherapy.
With the last dose of chemo behind me I am now in strategising mode. Obviously I need to get over this round, it has brought fatigue and sleepiness rather than insomnia this time, definitely keeps you guessing! I have the weird taste, dry eyes etc but all will pass. My concentration is also off so please forgive me if my writing is not up to scratch, this has taken some effort.
My first task is to heal by body. My immune system has taken a kicking, I have lost a lot of fitness and strength, although I have kept a good deal of flexibility through pilates and yoga. I am estimating 3-6 months until I am back to pre-treatment. That is unless the radiotherapy throws some surprises. Like the chemo this is adjuvant (treatment given after surgery to reduce the risk of cancer coming back). Common side effects of this are tiredness, skin soreness and mild discomfort. Then there are the less common ones…
The radiotherapy requires me going to the hospital every weekday for 3 weeks, the treatment takes less than 10 minutes. I consider that I am lucky to live relatively close to the hospital so whilst a challenge to my working day, I can work around it. Others have to travel long distances sometimes using hospital or public transport, I imagine their whole lives on hold.
Once this is finished I am very carefully considering the ongoing drug regime being offered. I want to know in detail the absolute and relative benefits of all four. They each come with another range of possible side effects.
I would prefer to attempt a healthy life without pharmaceuticals. To exercise daily, my usual pilates, resistance, stationary bike. Back to intermittent Fasting, to continue the keto/carnivore regime. It is slowly becoming apparent that our false fear of saturated fats has created many new health problems especially hormonal ones (Elizabeth Bright Good Fat is Good for Women: Menopause).
“Why blame the oldest of foods for the newest of diseases.”
Alcohol now sits as a moderate part of my life, I am content with that. I have looked at the research and the relative (rather than absolute) risk of moderate drinking seems worth it. I now pick 3 days a week to have drink, I don’t have to imbibe and it has become a treat rather than habit.
I will continue a regime of medicinal mushrooms for as long as is appropriate. I will meditate and continue self development.
We will need to undo some of the chaos the last few months has caused. Developing a strategy to mend all that is now broken/neglected needs to be adopted. The New Year provides a good opportunity for this, we have learnt so much and yes, that does include when to ask for help.
Language.
I have given a lot of care to the language that I use as we think in words and this frames our world, I am sure this has helped to keep me in a healthy state of mind. For instance, I tell people, “I am being treated for breast cancer, I do not consider that I have breast cancer”. The tumours are gone along with the dodgy lymph nodes.
I am not ‘battling’ anything, this analogy makes it sound as though those who lose the fight did so because they did not fight hard enough. I know this to be far from the truth. It’s a tired cliche, I want to come up with something better.
Risk
I am trying to understand the way medical stats are used, the top line used in the media and pharmaceutical companies varies depending on the result they wish to promote. Asking if the stats are relative or absolute can make the world of difference.
They can give rise to those attention grabbing, click bait headlines, you know “eating pickled onions increases your chance of losing a leg by 30%”, “coffee will make you immortal”, “goji berries reduces your risk of getting migraines by 59%”. Science reporting is of very low quality these days, we used to have specialist correspondents now the general hacks just reproduce press releases. They never choose to examine the sources or who paid for a study. The fictitious “January 23rd is most depressing day of the year” study was paid for by a travel firm, there are many examples of these.
So many headlines, so little context. These are two of the best explanations of risk so far. Next time you see one of those headlines, it’s really worth drilling down. We want to live healthy, happy lives, the media wants you to worry, conform and buy products.
https://theconversation.com/its-all-relative-how-to-understand-cancer-risk-55494
https://www.breastcancerriskfactors.gov.au/understanding-risk
This is more detailed and provides some eye widening information about the manipulation of medical data.
Glad that the blood test worked out ok and that you were able to have your last chemo on time. When you have got through radiotherapy you guys must come and chill on our narrowboat. As I've said many many times we are here if you need us any time. Love to you both. xx
Just wanted to say Happy New Year and that I’ve read your updates religiously and just how much I hold you in the highest regard and as an inspiration. In short:
You fucking rock lady
All my love, Tyler