6/7/23
Anniversary thoughts..
Today marks the first anniversary of my diagnosis. I had to look the date up, it is not imprinted on my memory, I try to reserve this part of my brain for happy events, anniversaries, the day I picked up my Triumph etc.
As much as I wish to consign these events to the past there will be reminders, the missing breast the most permanent but even the jarring nature of that diminishes as it heals. I frequently forget to put ‘Boris the boob’ in when I go out.
My hair had become increasingly untenable, the two different lengths meant the need to wear a hat most of the time, this had become a nuisance. After some good advice from women who know more about these things than me, I booked an appointment with a hairdresser. I’ll admit I was nervous. it has been over 30 years since my last visit. Short hair had never been on the cards and I was worried about emerging looking ‘middle-aged’ (even though I am).
My fears were unjustified, the staff could not have been lovelier, I showed them my before photos and they understood. The salon owner took me under her wing and decided she would do my cut. She used the length of the hair I had saved to create a funky cyber punk sort of look. She showed me how to style it….if, I fully master this remains to be seen, I am not au fait with girly things like products and hair straighteners.
With a sigh of relief, there I was, short but stylish, with a bit of dye I should look a little more like me. When the hair is long enough I plan to have extensions to get me through the mid length phase. I do look forward to pony tails again, patience and good nutrition required.
I feel that persisting with the cold capping was worth it and for me the head shave was not appropriate. This is very much a horses for courses area.
Physically, I am getting stronger, I have added more weights to my routine, I clearly lost some muscle mass last year and us ladies of a certain age need resistance training for healthy bones etc.
Mentally, I don’t feel especially traumatised, it was what it was, I am grateful to still be here. I am having an amazing 2023, spending good times with Dave, family and friends. The fragility of life is in sharper focus now. We lost another dear friend recently, make the best of it folks and be careful in your decision making.
Life is busier than ever, I feel a great urge to tidy and get our affairs in order. I think this is quite understandable. I am trying to give everything my best.
The NHS have refused my request for MRI’s instead of Mammograms for my remaining breast, citing national care standards. I will be paying for MRI’s. As the forums reflect, Lobular Breast cancer is missed at many, many routine screenings. The Lobular Cancer charity are lobbying for change in this. How many women die or go through more aggressive treatments due to lack of early diagnosis? Please check your bits folks, regularly.
I am hoping to get my writing mojo back on other subjects soon :-)
Thank you for reading along, commenting and sharing, it is very much appreciated.
So GLAD (and relieved) that you have come out the other side. Though vigilance is required! On which note your newsletter has reminded me that I'm due to check my lymph nodes, so thank you.
I look forward to seeing you sporting your new hair style! I've got used to your look these past thirty years or so. :) Don't overdo the work thing, as you are now very much aware you only get one chance at this miracle called life. Sending much love to you and Dave from Napton On The Hill (a favourite canalside village). xxx